Dali Morning
2003-08-20 | 10:06 a.m.
This morning, I wake up to a mechanical rooster alarm clock, replete with the sound of a rooster head manoeuvering up and down, up and down. This is followed by a flurry of German gobbledegook, likely in response to the rooster alarm clock. I try to ignore all this by wrapping the pillow around my head, but decide that a better option is to unleash my fury with my stern brow and eye of evil.

As I prepare my face for my diabolical onslaught, I turn and see:

A solid-framed, short-haired German girl sitting on the top bunk, legs dangling, topless, wearing nothing but black underpants, appearing as though she is doing no more than waiting for a Big Mac and fries.

She catches my eye and moves not a sliver.

I slowly navigate my head to the comfort of my dorm wall, rocking and convulsing, with an all-too insane urge to return to my momma's teet. Help me.

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