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listening: bob harris on BBC Radio 6 To the man six feet in front of me at the Matthew Good concert at the Stampede last night: Thank you for placing yourself right in my only available line of vision that connected me to the stage. I, as well as the fellow audience members in my general area, was thoroughly impressed with your ability to be the most annoying person on the planet and appreciate the fact that you not only had a large head with a face reminiscent of Jeff Daniels in Dumb and Dumber, but decided to wear a cowboy hat to add to this irritating effect. Oh, and thank you for bringing your six foot million inch buddy along to stand right beside you. I believe that 50% of the time he wasn't even looking at the stage and intended to merely scope out cheap glances at girls' underwear whilst they were crowd surfing. Thank you. He definitely deserved that view-blocking spot in the second row. I also don't think I've ever met anyone who has ever had the ability to maintain a permanent "rock on" hand symbol on both hands for an hour. Though I am fervently against hand amputation in places like Nigeria, in that hour where you stood in front of me, I often entertained thoughts of having this act performed on you. But I wouldn't, of course, because I believe in human rights and that's cruel. But the fact that you have exposed me to these drunken man concert antics is a human rights violation in itself and I may soon be required to report you if I ever see you again, which I hope won't be the case. Ever. Again.
And I feel fine....... - 2004-02-23 |