Old MacDonald
2003-11-01 | 8:00 a.m.
My mother and I have had some decent talks in the past few months, hovering over an hour at times. It's been a good learning experience, but last night I discovered way too much:

MY PARENTS WATCH ANIMAL PORN!

I'm serious! I was talking about people having sex with animals and my mom starts piping up about "Oh yeah! Aunty just brought this video and we watched it and there were all these white women wiggling around with a horse!"

My instinct was to scream and start yelling "la la la" so I could overpower her voice, but she persisted, partly because she thought it was funny and partly because she wanted to let it all out. And in a way, I let myself be overpowered because I thought it was pretty funny too. In a way. In another way, it is so odd to hear your own mother talk about women licking eachother and barnyard animals.

Apparently she was most entertained and revolted by the episode with the girl screwing the pig because it was wiggling around like a... well a greased pig.

Guess they need something to watch since my parents haven't had sex in fifteen years. They sleep in separate rooms. That means they don't have sex, right?

Right?

God, I gotta stop thinking about this.

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